Thursday 21 November 2013

Gwenchana... Gwenchanayo....

Yang tersedih adalah bukan ketika tak ada seorangpun di sisimu saat kamu bersedih.

Tetapi adalah ketika tak ada seorangpun di sisimu saat kamu berbahagia.

Dan yang paling menyedihkan adalah ketika tak ada seorangpun di sisimu, tak peduli kamu bersedih atau berbahagia.

Saturday 9 November 2013

Is it?

Is it a mistake that i met you?

Kesalahankah ini karena kita bertemu? Karena kemudian kita jatuh hati? Atau mungkin lebih tepat aku jatuh hati mati-matian kepadamu? Kesalahankah?

Karena jika memang ini kesalahan, apa yang harus aku lakukan untuk memperbaikinya? Haruskah aku memperbaikinya? Atau ku biarkan saja?

Kamu.

Kesalahankah aku telah menempatkanmu di tempat terpenting? Sebagai salah satu hal paling berarti bagiku?

Kamu. Segalanya.

Atau mungkin memang aku tak sejatuh hati itu padamu? Karena, yah, aku masih merasa waras. Aku toh tidak sampai melakukan hal-hal gila demi untuk menyampaikan rasa ini kepadamu? Kan?

Tapi dusta bila aku tak mengakui kalau aku jatuh hati padamu. Berkali-kali. Sesering aku patah hati karenamu. Sebanyak kata 'tidak' yang pernah terucap darimu.

I love you this much.
I love you that much.
But, what did i do to prove that? Nothing. I did nothing.

So, it means i love you but not this much.
It means i love you but not that much.
But, still, i love you. Right?
And still, i did nothing to prove it.

That is why you never realized it.
Yeah.

Cause i did nothing to prove it except sat on my bed and cried all night long everytime my heart hurts while thinking bout you.

Cause i did nothing to prove it except wrote it down here, hoped you'll know what i'm feeling.

Kesalahankah ini yang aku lakukan? Jika iya, haruskah aku memperbaikinya? Atau ku biarkan saja?

Karena aku merasa bodoh mengenai ini semua. Semua yang telah terjadi. Bahwa buatmu, berartikah ini? I dont even know what it means for you. You never tell me. Or you did tell me and i didnt notice it?

Tapi apa itu penting sekarang? Bukankah sama saja? Tak peduli berarti atau tidak, kesalahan atau bukan, chapter terakhir toh sudah selesai ditulis?

Tapi suara di belakang kepalaku masih terus bertanya-tanya. Entah mengapa.

Is it a mistake that i met you?
Is it a mistake that i fall in love with you?
Is it?

In wonderland...

Living life with you is like living life in wonderland. It's amazing but still it isn't real.

It's true. And i don't know what should i feel. Should i feel happy that it's amazing or should i feel sad that it isn't real? Well, honestly i don't know.

Every single second i spent with you is like i'm living in a dream. I even feel like i can do everything, everything i want, everything that i don't even dare to think in real world.

With you, it really is in a wonderland. We always go around everywhere, every place that interesting us. It's like there is nothing that we can't do. There is nowhere that we can't visit. The 'impossible' word doesn't exist in this wonderland.

But still. When i wake up, i know that it isn't real. The picture that 'we are together having adventure around the wonderland' is just an imagination.

The wonderland isn't exist.
Even you.

When i wake up, i realize that you aren't even exist. You are just my imagination. Gone at the second i woke up.

You, the person that i love this much, aren't exist.
That adventure isn't exist.
That wonderland too.
And i just dreamt.